Grandmothering
Grandmothering
SKU:9781538133132
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Contemporary grandmothers are often marginalized from extended family life because social institutions and grandmothers themselves do not understand that they could be vital for working parents, for overactive children, for suicidal youth, indeed for many of the problems of modern grandchildren. The genetics and hormones of older women have designed them to be vital family members, with patience and perspective that come with age and experience. In addition, biology helps directly via menopause. The grandmother hypothesis explains that human women, unlike almost any other living creature, experience decades of life after menopause, in order to make grandmothers available to their descendants. Here, Kathleen Berger explores he role of grandmothers in the lives of their grandchildren. She uses real life examples to illustrate how grandmothers can best integrate themselves into the lives of their children's families without overstepping. She explores the particular needs of each stage of childhood as they relate to grandmother involvement and input. Before a child is born, grandmothers need to attend to building a strong relationship with the future parents. In infancy, attachment and feeding are crucial. In early childhood, grandmothers need to follow the parent's lead, remembering that a parental alliance is essential. In childhood, children need to be safe but not isolated, and both bullies and victims benefit from a grandmother's support and assistance. In adolescence and emerging adulthood, grandmothers need to build direct connections and not avoid the difficult topics of sex, drugs, death, disease, and money. Throughout, elders need to learn technology, insuring that it fosters, not impedes relationships. Problems in relationships are explained honestly and with insight. Among these are issues when three generations share a home, when parents get divorced, and when grandchildren rebel against parental authority. Throughout the work, both the joy and the complications of effective grandmothering are described. Whether you're a biological grandmother, a trusted step-grandmother, or just a warm and trusted older woman with young ones in your life, you can be a vital force in the lives of future generations.
About the Author
About the Author
Table of Content
Table of Content
Contents Preface Dedication Part I: Get up from the Floor Chapter One: Excluded and on the Floor What is Wrong? Cohort and Culture Grandmothers and Families Chapter Two: Why Grandmothers? The Paradox of Menopause Evidence for Grandmother Hypothesis Still True? Chapter Three: Deep Within, On the Floor Again Every Part of the brain Genes, Selfish and Not Oxytocin and Other Hormones Chapter Four: Too Little Grandmothering Some Care is Essential Who is to Blame Suing for Visitation Rights Chapter Five: Too Much Grandmothering Custodial Grandmothers Three Generation Households Finding the Balance Part II: At every Age Chapter Six: The Loving Couple Lesson One: Keep Comments to Yourself Lesson Two: Respect the Gatekeepers Lesson Three: Recognize Linked Lives Chapter Seven: The Pregnant Couple Lesson Four: Quiet Fears and Anxieties Lesson Five: Learn about Innovations Lesson Six: Build Relationships Carefully Chapter Eight: Birth and the Newborn Lesson Seven: Remember the other people. Lesson Eight: Recognize Birth as a Pivot Lesson Nine: Prevent Postpartum Depression Chapter Nine: Infants Lesson Ten: Notice and Admire Lesson Eleven: Avoid Attachment Wars Lesson Twelve: Don't Feed the Baby, Unless.... Chapter Ten: Young Children Lesson Thirteen: Twelve: Avoid Assumptions Lesson Fourteen: Accept Blame and Mediation Lesson Fifteen: Discipline with Care Chapter Eleven: School Children Lesson Sixteen: Keep them Safe and Social Lesson Seventeen: Protect Victims and Bullies Lesson Eighteen: Help with Education Chapter Twelve: Divorce and Grandchildren Lesson Nineteen: Strengthen the Partnership Lesson Twenty: Be a Steady Anchor Lesson Twenty-One: Step into the Family Chapter Thirteen: Adolescents Lesson Twenty-Two: Navigate Changing Relationships Lesson Twenty-Three: Reconsider Suicide, Drugs, and Sex Lesson Twenty-Four: Learn Technology Chapter Fourteen: Emerging Adults Lesson Twenty-Five: Don't Advise Settling Down Lesson Twenty-Six: Explore Values with Words and Money Lesson Twenty-Seven: Take Care of Health and Ability Into the Future References Bibliography Index About the Author
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